Every time I am upset with Rohan (my nearly 4 year old), he turns around and says "be happy"! This has been the case ever since he started speaking. He just wouldn't accept his mother being angry with him, no matter what! There I'd be upset at him for having spilled his milk on the floor and/or dropped his bowl of cereal on the table for the third time in the morning, but he would throw his arms around me and coax me forcefully into 'be happy'! How could I resist that!

It's easy enough to get over some spilled milk. But when my older son (7 years) starting chanting the same 'be happy' mantra every time I'd be upset at him, I found it more challenging to let go of my anger at his not doing his work, the constant follow up over everything etc etc.
However, what set me thinking was when I found myself telling him " How can I be happy when you don't do your homework properly"? What was I teaching him? That my happiness depends on him, that I had no control over my emotions?

The one lesson that I now strive to impart my kids is that their happiness can only come from within them. They can't let toys/games or rather their lack make them happy or unhappy. Ditto for friends and fights, less candies, teachers and tests, homework etc... My son would say constantly "When I get this toy/candy/game/book/dvd, I'll be happy". I told him the idea is to not put off being happy for later, let's be happy now with what we have.  I can see he's changing gradually to having fun with what he has and instead of focussing on what he wants.

If a seven year old can intuitively grasp the gist of Be Happy Now, surely I can too! So now, while I still get upset over his legos all over the place, I instantly think of something he's done that makes me very happy Now!

Last Saturday we had a wonderful foodie experience at a small dinner
party hosted by a good friend. Ruchi is a fabulous cook on any given
day, but she outdid herself this time. She had cooked a delicious,
authentic Kashmiri dinner!

It was a memorable meal partly because Kashmiri food is pretty
uncommon to come across (I wonder why), and also because the flavors
were very unique and distinct.
I was surprised to find that traditionally and typically Kashmiri
cuisine doesn't make use of onions, garlic or tomatoes unlike most
other Indian cuisines.
The Kashmiri flavors rely on yogurt or tamarind and spices like dried
ginger powder (saunth), fennel powder (saunf), asafetida (hing), dried
red chillies, as well as whole spices like bay leaves, saffron and
cloves. I suppose these lend that signature Kashmiri flavor and aroma
to the food.
Ruchi had made a great rajma (red kidney beans) with turnips (razma
gogji), a delicious kohlarabi ( a staple, Kashmiri green), tangy
eggplant ( march vaangan) and an exquisite walnut, radish and yogurt
chutney. For the non-vegetarians she had 'rogan josh' a delectable
mutton curry and 'mahts' another delicacy made from chicken.
Truly Divine!

Hungry already? Write to Ruchi for recipes. She will be very happy to
share her culinary treasures from the Valley!